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June 28, 2007

Music Review

Big Dog Dud

Toby Keith’s latest is one extended drinking song with a lot of advice

Story by: Ray Edward Buffington IV

The Shorthorn staff

-Courtesy Art

Forget Dr. Phil. Move over, Oprah. Take a seat, Donahue.

Toby Keith has the answers in his latest album, Big Dog Daddy, for all of you brokenhearted lovers who have no clue how to handle the daily bumps on the road of life.

That is, if you don’t mind that his answer to everything results in getting as drunk as possible.

This CD has lukewarm lyrics, tepid vocals and mediocre music that gives the listener a headache and makes them wonder where Keith’s consistency is.

Maybe he had a little too much to drink when writing the songs, but who are we kidding?

In the song “Love Me If You Can,” Keith croons about how he prays every night for peace on Earth, as he hands his son a shotgun. Sorry, Mr. Keith, but you can’t have your massive artillery and expect world peace, too. Guns don’t kill people. People who listen to this album turn crazy, grab a gun and kill people.

Later he talks about diffusing debates before they “turn to angry words and hate.” Isn’t this the cowboy that wrote the lyric “We’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way?” It seems Keith has either turned over a new cow patty or is just flat-out lying through his tobacco-stained teeth.

Maybe he should use the money he spends on his whiskey love, Jack Daniels, to purchase a soul.

“Get My Drink On” and “Walk it Off,” trick the listener into hoping for a little morsel of the rare genre known as country-rap.

Too bad the album fails even the country-rap fans. The previous songs were about men getting dumped by their “gals” and how to solve the heartache. “Get My Drink On,” which should have been titled “Get My Draaaank On,” gives a namesake solution – drown away your sorrows. That’s right, kids, a bottle of Jack will take care of any problem according to Mr. Keith. “Walk it Off” tells the brokenhearted to just run away — the ideal way to solve an issue.

Let’s just say that after painfully two-stepping through this CD, I was ready to get drunk on Jack Daniels, beat myself unconscious with a horseshoe and run away with someone else’s lover.