| OPINION
| DECEMBER 2, 2005
Seasons Gettings
The holidays may bring some cheer,
at least when presents appear
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| The Shorthorn: Brandon Leirer |
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The holidays are once again upon us. Even
if you don’t observe any holidays, understand that some of
us just can’t help but get wrapped up in events going on this
month.
I’m not a Christian, but I like the idea of all the exchanging
gifts. So I guess it’s not so much the traditional Christmas
I celebrate but the commercial one. My greedy self just loves getting
presents, and Christmas is just the pretense I need to compel some
material-loving my way.
Of course, I’m also foiled by having a birthday after Thanksgiving
but before Christmas, so I often fall victim to those lame combination
presents. You can’t win them all. I guess there is more to
this season than just the presents.
I suppose the actual holiday rush begins the day after Thanksgiving,
known as Black Friday. When I worked in retail, I hated Black Friday
like no other. The stores I worked at would open five hours early,
and I’d always get stuck on the opening shift. Let me tell
you something: It’s not the friendly people who are getting
up at five in the morning to do their shopping.
Here’s a fun fact I used to my advantage though: Black Friday
isn’t actually the busiest shopping day of the year; statistically
it’s really the Saturday before Christmas which holds that
dubious honor. Black Friday is bad, but the one closer to Christmas
is worse, so do what you can to weasel out of workig that day.
The Christmas specials are like a double-edged sword. Some of them
you look forward to seeing, like How the Grinch Stole Christmas
(the animated one with Boris Karloff, not the lame Jim Carrey version).
Others are just the same old reruns. Whoever is in charge of these
things needs to refresh the holiday line-up with some new energy.
I’m tired of seeing the lame “Simpsons” Christmas
episode from 1989 every week of December (don’t even get me
started on the newer “Simpsons” Christmas specials).
I know Tim Allen works hard to put out a new Christmas movie each
year, and bless him for trying so hard but always coming up short.
There are a few Christmas movies I haven’t seen in a while
that I could stand to see maybe once this month. There’s Home
Alone — I haven’t seen that in like five years, so a
quick play on network TV would inoculate me from that movie for
another half-decade or so. I’m pretty sure that at least two
of the Die Hard movies happen during Christmas. How come those are
never played over the holidays?
There really isn’t any good holiday food for this season,
either. There’s turkey for Thanksgiving, marshmallow Peeps
in the spring and infinite candy for Halloween. What do you eat
for the winter holidays? Candy canes? Come on, that’s just
repackaged mints. It’s the same with gingerbread men —
you can get the same cookies from the Girl Scouts. Fruitcake is
famous for being unwanted. There’s always eggnog, but there’s
a reason why you only drink it one time a year — once is enough.
Crowded stores, crappy TV and crappier food. I guess this season
isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, so just follow my lead,
and you can get the best of what the season has to offer. Yes, of
course I’m talking about the presents. That’s the true
meaning of Christmas, as is my understanding.
— Josh Morris is a marketing sophomore and a staff columnist
for The Shorthorn
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