SCENE | february 03, 2004| Send features tips

Mismatch Mates
Happy roommates communicate well; the others just move out

The Shorthorn: Awais Ikram Brazos Hall residents marketing sophomore Micah Chavez, left, and film junior Gary Tomchik have been roommates since the beginning of the spring semester. “He is my fifth roommate in two years, and people probably think there is something wrong with me,” Tomchik said.

By Gretchen Rakiec Augustine
The Shorthorn Scene Editor

Gary Tomchik didn’t actually see his first roommate before he saw what he’d be living with right away.

“I saw his disaster everywhere and his nasty porn,” the film junior said. “Then he came in and was so drunk.”

Tomchik’s roommate tried to shake his hand and introduce himself but instead just passed out on his bed. Within 15 minutes of moving in, Tomchik applied for a transfer to a new room.

Tomchik knew right away that he was incompatible with his first roommate.

Residence hall officials, though, said most roommate problems stem from the building up of smaller issues. Students and officials offer advice on dealing with roommate problems, being a good roommate and maintaining good living situations.

Tomchik, who has had five roommates in his two years here, is one of 1,264 people who live in a campus residence hall and has been assigned or chosen a roommate.

Hall directors spend two to three days assigning roommates based on information entered on data forms residents have filled out. The form asks questions about roommate preferences like cleanliness, bedtime and major.

Trinity Hall Director Lauren Miller said next semester’s data sheets will ask more specific questions in a greater effort to pair people with similar tastes.

“It’s something we try hard to make happen,” she said. “We’re realizing what is important to that individual and are trying to take that into account to get a better match.”

She said the more compatible roommates are, the less problems they have throughout the year.

Most common problems faced by students originate from a basic lack of communication and unresolved minor issues that have escalated to major problems.

The worst way to deal with a conflict, Miller said, is to just stop talking to the roommate because it doesn’t solve anything.

She advises brainstorming about the issue before talking about it.

“First, think about the conflict,” Miller said. “Think about if you’re willing to live with this conflict for the duration.”

After approaching a resident assistant, the next step is to approach the hall director if the problem persists.

Erica Finlan, a Brazos Hall resident assistant, reiterated that talking to one’s roommate should be the very first step in conflict resolution. Otherwise, talking to an R.A. may seem like tattletaleing.

Overall, just remember the golden rule.

“Always try to think of how you want to be treated,” the psychology junior said. “It’s their room just as much as it is yours.”

Tomchik, now an office assistant at Brazos Hall, tried the communication route with his third roommate, who he said rarely showered. But because he only hinted about the matter, it didn’t work.

“It got to the point where he smelled so bad that I couldn’t hold a conversation with him,” Tomchik said.

By the time it got to this level, he said, it was nearing the end of the spring 2003 semester, and he was spending a lot of time working on projects outside his room. He had also met someone else he wanted to room with the next semester.

Whether taking showers or just taking messages, being considerate has a different meaning to everyone.

The Shorthorn: Awais Ikram Tomchik has had five roommates in two years. He said the key to being a successful roommate is having consideration for each other.

“When it comes right down to it,” Tomchik said, “being a roommate should be the easiest thing to do, considering it takes basic consideration.”

To avoid conflict altogether, Miller said it’s important to set ground rules when cohabitation begins.

“It really has to start from day one because by day two you’ve already made your habits,” she said.

But if the rules haven’t been made before now, there’s still hope. Miller said filling out a roommate contract may answer some questions: When do we go to bed? Is the fridge and the food inside one person’s or is it shared?

Biology junior Raju Totloor said she’s been very lucky with her roommates and went so far as to call them the two best roommates in the world.

“All three of us were pretty open-minded about giving space and taking space,” she said.

One of their perks were “roommate nights,” where they would plan during the semester to spend time together. Totloor said her roommates also prepared surprise dinners and were careful to meet her vegetarian needs.

Totloor recommends that people living together get to know the small things about each other.

“Know little things like allergies, so they know you at a personal level,” she said.

Nursing freshman Cassie King also had the luck of meshing well with her roommate this semester.

“We’re obsessively clean,” she said. “We have air fresheners everywhere.”

King admitted that they share a secret passion for the television show “7th Heaven,” which she used to have to watch by herself.

But if compatibility isn’t in the cards, there’s always next semester. King recommends watching out for people who are moving or graduating to find an open room.

Try compromising if a problem arises, Finlan said, but if it doesn’t go away remember that it’s not the end of the world.

“If it doesn’t look like there’s anything you can do, just be considerate of the other person,” she said. “Really, you’re just sharing a room.”

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